Inconspicuous
by Sa-kun
Summary: Kai is left slightly lost when something is revealed about a friend of his. KaRe.
1. 1

Disclaimer: Don't own anything really.

First part of three. It will be KaRe, in time, but as of yet some parts are still oblivious.

* * *

"It's funny how beautiful people look when they're walking out the door." 

"Kai?" The Russian gave a half smile, gazing at the ceiling with half-closed eyes.

"My mother used to say that." Voice a smooth murmur. "I never believed her." Rei found himself nodding, and filled with a sudden carelessness he let himself fall backwards down on the bed. He bounced softly, as did Kai, jolted, almost falling onto his side. Kai bent his knee up, resting his head on his hands. "We only seem to get along when I'm away, and she usually realises that I'm actually her son by the time the front door slams shut."

"Oh…" Rei shuffled around, trying to find a comfortable position, when Kai let out a slightly annoyed grunt. He sighed in satisfaction, relaxing, turning to lie on his side. He froze when he saw Kai glare at him, eyes hard and exasperated, not the slightest amused. Rei grumbled. "Give me a pillow then."

* * *

"You're hiding something." 

Rei smiled at Kai, indulging him. "Oh? What makes you think that?"

The Russian raised an eyebrow, looking over at the neko-jin. Rei was half lying in the sofa, lazily reading a manga. Which one, he couldn't quite make out, but Rei was smiling that smile again…

"Hn." Kai casually sat down next to Rei, his hesitance carefully hidden behind his mask of indifference. "That smile, for one thing." The neko-jin shrugged, turning a page without looking up at Kai.

"Well, smiles lie." The Russian sighed, leaning his head back on the couch.

"Exactly."

Rei giggled.

* * *

"Kon." Rei threw a glance over his shoulder, eyebrow raised in inquisition. Kai glared, jaw set, holding up a newspaper, he tossed it front of his team-mate, hissing. "What's the meaning of this!" 

Rei blinked, staring at Kai in confusion, then his gaze shifted to the folded page. The headline was bold, the black fat letters screaming and glaring in his eyes. And the picture…the picture… "Kai…I-"

"Are you out of you mind?" The neko-jin shook his head, staring at the floor.

"I just wanted to have a good time…" Kai snorted.

"At a gay convention?" Kai grabbed the newspaper, staring disdainfully at the image of a smiling, happy Rei being hugged sideways by a famous Japanese artist known for his dubious associations. "You're risking your entire career because of a clouded judgement." He glanced at it again, heated eyes turning back towards the blushing, indignant and still strong Rei. "You're even blushing for God's sake! Someone is going to get the wrong impression of you, and then you'll have hell to go through. Are you out of you mind!" Kai fell silent, taking a deep breath. "Don't you care?" Rei flinched, staring at the carpet, brown and frayed with age, he slowly shook his head, voice a quiet whisper.

"I should think that if people were to get the wrong impression of me…" He licked his lips. "…it wouldn't be the wrong impression in the slightest." Cheeks burning softly, Rei raised his gaze, staring defiantly into Kai's burning one. "Hiwatari-san." He paused slightly, swallowing, bright eyes wavering. "And Sakuma-san was most charming." The hesitance with which his last comment was spoken did not pass Kai.

Kai dropped the newspaper, closing his eyes. "I don't believe this."

* * *

"-I mean, it's not like it's a problem, right? And-" Rei watched as Kai's blade spun, growing steadily more wobbly the more the Russian's brow furrowed, until it stopped so abruptly that Rei blinked. "…you lose?" He patted Kai's back, only to have his friend go rigid and move away. 

"Don't touch me." Rei took an involuntary step back.

"Kai?" The Russian glared, eyes seemingly burning.

"I don't want you to touch me." The neko-jin looked at Kai, lost and hurt, eyes big and expressive. He reached out a hand, and Kai took another step back, his eyes hidden in the shadow his hair created, voice quiet without lacking any of its intensity.

"B-But-"

"Just don't!"

"I thought-"

Kai turned his back to Rei, crossing his arms, eyes closing of their own accord. "You were wrong." He flinched when Rei suddenly wrapped his arms around him, holding tight. "Rei-"

"I'm not letting go, Kai." The neko-jin purred softly, his face pressed up against the space between Kai's shoulders. "…I need you." He all but whispered.

For the longest of whiles, Kai said nothing, standing still, frozen and statue-like. The silence was heavy and oppressive, slowly but steadily untangling Rei's carefully constructed resolve. "It won't do you any good."

"…veto…" Kai snorted, untangling Rei's vine-like arms. Rei grabbed Kai's shoulders, twisting him around and stared up at him with wide eyes. "Buy me dinner?"

Kai snorted.

* * *

Watching the sun set, Kai mused. It had been bothering him, this, not problem per say, this…inclination of his friend. Not in a tangible way, there was just something he couldn't understand, something… 

The physical feeling of someone resting their head gently on his shoulder caused his body to tense, and his friend to remove their head. It wasn't Rei as a person, he knew that. But, how could he be so…carefree?

"Kai…" Rei's eyes filled with hurt, and he bit his lip. Hadn't they been over this once already?

"Hn."

"I'm not…contagious, you know." Kai shrugged, not removing his eyes from the sunset. "Kai-" The Russian was suddenly staring at Rei, eyes intense and soft at the same time, and Rei faltered.

"You're ruining your career before it's even started. Doesn't that bother you?"

"…I don't think I am." He studied Kai in the slowly setting sun, and sighed, averting his gaze. "It doesn't really matter much what a man does with his life. What matters is the legend that grows up around him." Then he grinned, and before Kai had the time to react, Rei licked his cheek, before sprinting away, giggling. "I know you'll love me anyway!"

Kai shook his head, slowly standing up. "You're insane, you know that?"

* * *

Kai swayed, holding onto a flagpole to remain upright. He blinked. "It's made of wood." Rei shook his head. Eyes wide, he stumbled over, giggling softly. 

He knocked on it. "Whoa…it is." When the ground swayed uncomfortably much, he followed Kai's lead. Throwing his arms around Kai's neck, he grinned triumphantly. The Russian blinked.

"I'm not." Rei prodded Kai's chest, nodding.

"Not wood." Then he grinned unexpectedly, eyes shining and sharp incisors gleaming in the moonlight. "Any idiot would know that. You're…er…" He trailed of, confused.

"I'm a space-age fucking superstar." Kai smirked, looking very pleased with himself.

Rei stared, eyes unconsciously following the strong, handsome facial features of his friend. The burning eyes, strong jaw, the high cheekbones and gentle slope of the nose…the soft, pale lips. The neko-jin stared dreamily at Kai, cheeks redder by the second. Kai suddenly poked his nose.

"Oro?"

"Stop checking me out." Rei just grinned.

"But you're so sexy…" Kai nodded, smirking, suddenly looking very pleased.

* * *

Kai opened the door to his room, then promptly shut it again. He didn't just-? He shook his head, deciding no, he hadn't just seen Rei- Kai blinked. Then blinked again. "Rei?" 

The neko-jin startled, blushing furiously, hand resting on a rather provocatively cocked hip. He stared with wide eyes at Kai through the mirror, showing rather great resemblance to a deer caught on the highroad facing headlights. "K-Kai!" Rei gasped, catching sight of himself and hurriedly stood in a more neutral way. He gasped again as his poorly buttoned shirt fell down, exposing a slightly tan shoulder and smooth, creamy back. "I was just, um, I- ah-" Rei twisted around, embarrassedly holding his shirt together. "Posing! Yes! For the, the…um…"

"Fashion magazine?" Kai helpfully supplemented, eyebrows raised and standing firm in the doorway. Rei nodded hastily, hair falling in his face. Kai swallowed. "Your…hair…"

"It's just a…thong. Leather thong." Rei stuttered, blushing madly. "For my hair, like a rope. A…thin rope. Yeah…"

Kai crossed his arms, and with a quick glance behind him, he leaned back on the wall, narrowly missing from falling. Rei twirled his hair, wounding the thin, taut piece of leather randomly down his black tresses.

"…isn't that my shirt?" Rei shrugged leisurely, faint blush slowly dying on his cheeks.

"Is it…?"

* * *

Kai sighed. "Your idiocy is…" He shook his head, trailing off. Rei winced and tried to escape, but the hold on his head was to strong for him to break out of. "Wuss." 

"S-sorry." He inclined his head to Kai's surprisingly gentle dabbing, his touch feather light. "I-"

"Wasn't thinking. I know." He leaned back, not letting Rei's head go. He sighed again, picking up a new wad of cotton and dipped it in the small egg cup of vodka. "Rei." Rei clenched his eyes shut, and shakily turned his head slightly towards Kai.

The cut was nasty; not quite closed, but not quite bleeding as much as it had. Situated on Rei's left eyebrow, the blood had blocked his sight, and as it was so close to his eye…it _would_ sting. Much.

"Ah!" Kai winced, tightening his grip.

"Stay still." Rei's right eye fluttered open. "…I know…" He glanced briefly at Rei's bruised cheekbone, then back at the task at hand. "…band-aids…" He would only need the small ones to hold it together, and hopefully that would be enough. He didn't want to bring him to the hospital.

Rei breathed out a sigh of relief as Kai let go of him. Then shrieked as something _cold_ pressed against his cheek. "_Kai!_" Kai raised an eyebrow. The neko-jin looked away, hair shielding his bruised face. "…thank you, Kai." He brought a hand up, and as soon as he reached the icepack against his face, Kai let go.

"Why invite something like that Rei? I thought…" The Russian shook his head. "Do you want to _die_, is that it?"

"I-I don't. But he-" Rei closed his eyes, shaking his head, carefully licking his lips, wary of the split. "When you're abused like that...you know you've touched the stars."

"You don't make sense, Rei."

Rei closed his eyes. "They- _their_ existence is grey and dull, Kai. I'm _ignorant_. I am." He added when Kai opened his mouth. "I don't understand _why_ some people do what they did. But I _do_ understand what I feel. And I feel _alive_. Like I've touched the stars…"

* * *

"You had a crush on-?" 

"Luke."

"Luke." Kai repeated, sceptically. Rei grinned, sighing dreamily. "Who?"

Rei sat up abruptly. "You don't know who _Luke_ is!" He waved dramatically with his arm. "Skywalker?" Kai raised an eyebrow.

"He's a wuss." The neko-jin looked scandalised.

"He's so not! He-"

Kai continued as if Rei hadn't cried out. "Han was at least a real man." Rei stopped, mouth half open, eyes turning glassy.

"…yeah…he was rather, uh, _hot_." The Russian shook his head, mildly amused. "Really, really…hot." He gave a sigh, rubbing his forehead.

"You're hopeless."

Rei huffed, indignant. "No I'm not!" Lips formed a pout. "I call it a freedom. A freedom you can allow yourself." The pout was suddenly replaced with a knowing smirk, and he raised an eyebrow, challenging. "Or not."

Kai blinked.

* * *

He knew their relationship was out of the ordinary. He wasn't stupid, so he knew this. But he also knew that it was out of the norm for men to remain friends with- 

"Kai!" Kai's eyes shot open, and he coughed, winded. "Surprise!" Rei grinned happily, face turned upwards to the sun; the golden beams giving his friend a _warm_ glow. He was also sitting on him. "Look what I did!" Hair was pushed aside, and an ear was exposed. "See?" Kai stared.

"No."

"_What!_" A scandalised cry. "Look closer, inside!" A finger suddenly materialised. "There." Kai gently brushed Rei's finger aside. The neko-jin shivered as he felt Kai's breath on his skin, coming closer, and then his gentle fingertips…

"You pierced yourself again."

"Hm…oh! Yes, isn't it pretty?" He chewed his lip. "I always wanted one, and then I was afraid it'd hurt, but it didn't and it so cool!" He poked Kai's nose. "I almost have as many as you now. See?" He pointed, "Ichi." Earlobe. "Ni." Above the first. "San." Inner conch.

"And they gave you caffeine." Rei nodded. "The idiocy…" He nodded again, still grinning, bouncing slightly. Kai pushed him off, and the neko-jin landed with a heavy thud. Rei puffed his cheeks, eyes narrowing.

"That wasn't very nice!" Kai looked away, hiding his face. "Was it? Right? Kai?"

He wasn't stupid, and yet…

* * *

R&R, please. Thank you. 


	2. 2

Well, here's part two. I hope it's not too confusing.

* * *

Rei stared out of the window, watching the fat, heavy raindrops fall down outside, washing everything in its rebirth. 

"Rei?"

He sighed, smiling softly, looking over his shoulder at the not entirely unwelcome intruder. "Hey…" The bedsprings creaked as the intruder sat down in yet another cheap hotel somewhere in Europe. "I'm fine." There was a heavy pause.

"Are you?"

Rei shrugged, running a hand through his bangs. "…I knew it was over. I just didn't know it was up to me to make it stop, the charade…" He contemplated for less then a second before sitting down next to his Russian friend, and for once, it was some distance away. "There was always this illusion…of that somehow I, my tendencies, were looked over.

I talked about the cute boys outside to my mum when I was little, and she always laughed, then it became…more serious." He licked his lips, speaking faster. "We suddenly weren't kids anymore! I couldn't play dress up with Mao, mum wouldn't let me watch when she dressed up for a night out…and boys couldn't hold hands and hug anymore.

It was like everyone outgrew me, and I was left behind." Rei looked up, and realised with a startle that he was sitting next to Kai, their sides pressed together. He hadn't meant to move… "They already knew…I just made it…official."

"To them, there was always the illusion of that it _was_ just that." Kai leaned his head back on the wall, resting it sideways where the walls met. "An illusion."

"I can't go back anymore."

Kai studied his team-mate out of the corner of his eye. "I don't think you've had the liberty to do so for a very long time, Rei. Like you said, it's over…probably since you left."

* * *

Rei stumbled in, holding onto the doorpost to remain upright. The room swirled around him, the dark colours of the night blending into a chaos of confusion. Unable to stand, he sank down on the floor, head leaning back on the wall. There should be a table next to him, he knew, along with a phone. 

Squinting at it, he pressed the symbol that resembled two moons, and hoped that no one had used it since his last call.

An annoyed voice answered after several seconds, growling out a greeting. "What?"

Rei chuckled. "Kai?"

There was a momentary pause.

"Rei? It's in the middle of the night."

"I know…I-I-" Rei coughed, clutching his chest. "I can't get up, Kai…I can't move…" He heard Kai sigh, and the sound of a soft rustling, cotton rubbing together.

"Where are you?"

"Downstairs." Kai hung up. Rei chuckled weakly again, dropping the phone.

The door to Kai's bedroom creaked open, and soft footsteps padded their way down the stairs, through the kitchen. They stopped in the doorway, and Rei glanced up at Kai, smiling softly.

"Can you stand?" Kai's voice was soft, eyes gentle as he kneeled next to his friend. Rei shook his head, mouthing 'no'. Kai nodded, bringing an arm around Rei's shoulders. "Raise your legs, can you do that?" Rei's legs trembled, and he shook his head. With a heavy sigh, he forced his arm under the neko-jin's seemingly dead legs.

"Is it so wrong, Kai?" The Russian startled at the soft murmur against his chest.

"Hm?"

"…a tart. A tart in a gildy-" Rei coughed, wincing. "My supposed date-" He coughed again, more violently, clutching his chest weakly. "I'm such a fool…a-a tart…"

"You're not a tart, Rei…a fool perhaps…" Kai trailed off, focusing on climbing up the stairs. "A valuable…" He hesitated. "…precious fool, and there is nothing wrong in that."

"…thank you…" Rei sleepily murmured, and Kai knew for a fact that there was no warm, soft kiss pressed against his bare chest.

* * *

Rei clutched his chest, gasping for breath. The tall Russian in front of him raised an eyebrow, hesitant and questioning at the same time, taking a step forwards. More coughing, and wide, desperate eyes stared at him. The Russian blinked, moving closer still. "Kon?" Rei gestured at something behind him, before being reduced to coughing, body shaking by the sheer force of them, eyes clenching shut. He moved forward, lifting Rei's face and forcing him to meet his gaze. The neko-jin clutched his throat, one hand on his chest. 

Boris slapped him.

"Ah." Rei winced, massaging his throat.

"Alright?" The Chinese nodded slightly, taking deep, raspy breaths, one hand holding Boris' arm tight for support. Glancing down at the mug in his hand, Boris held it out in silent offering, unsuccessfully trying to pry his arm away from the neko-jin. Rei blinked, and hastily let go of the arm, smiling slightly.

"Th-thank you." He sighed, gratefully accepting the water. Raising it to his lips, he closed his eyes again, taking small, measured sips. Bliss. The water was like silk, gently soothing his abused throat.

So absorbed in his water was he, that he failed to hear the approaching pair of shoes. Only when he heard the soft murmurs, did he realise that Boris' now had companions, and Russian ones at that. One of which he'd rather didn't see him like this. Lowering the cup, he opened his eyes. Kai stared at him disapprovingly, forehead slightly furrowed.

"Rei-"

"It's nothing Kai." Kai glared. "Sort of…just coughs…" Rei looked away, smiling softly. "Hello, Yuriy-kun." The redhead, nodded in response, a hopeful light shining in his eyes.

"Ice-cream?" Rei nodded, but didn't move to follow when Yuriy started to walk away. "Rei?"

The neko-jin shrugged, smiling weakly. Then he pouted at Kai, blowing a kiss. Kai snorted, moving to stand next to Rei, holding him firmly around the waist and Rei grasped the arm tight, taking small, wavering steps. Not once did he look at the neko-jin.

"…_and they tell you it's not natural_…" Yuriy sighed, shaking his head.

"_Borya_…"

* * *

"_For once,_

_there was an unknown land; _

_full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes, _

_a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, _

_a land where all things are perfect and poisonous…_"

Kai nodded, faintest hint of a smile on his face. "Not bad." Rei's face fell.

"Not bad…? I thought it was great…" He spoke softly, fearful of reawakening his horrible coughs.

"I never said it wasn't." Kai carefully sat down next to his friend on the couch, skilfully balancing the tea tray without spilling a drop from the steaming mugs. "But it definitely _wasn't_ bad." He smirked, handing Rei his cup.

"Thank you." Rei smiled politely, scooting closer to Kai, relieving him of the tray, and contently leaned his head on Kai's shoulder. "You're always so warm, Kai…" The Russian shrugged, and with a snort, dumped the blanket on his right in Rei's lap. The neko-jin sighed patiently, gently patting Kai's thigh. "You're really dense, you know."

"Hm?"

"You're meant to hold me, not hand me a blanket."

* * *

"Ridicule is no shame, Kai." Rei edged closer to Kai. "It's what you feel that's important." The Russian glanced at the neko-jin, glaring at the wide eyes staring at him. 

"Hn."

Rei huffed, stepping back from his friend. "You're so boring Kai." He held out a freshly baked muffin. "Haven't you ever been made fun of?" The Russian accepted the offered treat with a polite nod, nibbling on it thoughtfully.

"Once, at school." Kai took another bite, frowning. "What did you put in them? Camomile?" Rei shook his head.

"Vanilla." He waved his hand, urging Kai to go on, eyes bright and curious.

"It was about me…and another boy, doing something. It was nothing, really." Kai glared. "Just a stupid rumour." He took another bite, chewing slowly. "…I don't actually remember much of it."

Rei blinked. "Oh." Biting his lip, he studied his muffins, thinking. "Is it because you don't want to remember? Or that you can't remember?" Kai's face looked pained for a moment, then frighteningly calm.

"Just forget it." But Rei shook his head, stopping his friend from running off. Kai closed his eyes as Rei started to run his fingers through his hair. "…what are you doing?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, before; "It's therapy. Good for your memory." Kai scoffed, but otherwise remained silent.

"…do you ever get…flashes? Sometimes, a memory of something I can't recall just appears in my mind."

"I don't think I do…."

Kai shrugged, breathing out deeply. "Last night when I looked at the moon I remembered that someone once said my eyes were beautiful in the moonlight…and I relived the feeling, but I _can't_ actually remember that conversation ever taking place." Kai opened his eyes, glancing sideways at Rei. "…can I have another muffin…?"

Rei's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and smiling widely, he held out the slightly steaming tray. "Of course!"

* * *

Kai grimaced. How anyone could stand being in the same room, let alone in the same house, was beyond him. "Rei!" The only change would be a change of song, as the music continued to blare out its message at the same godforsaken volume. 

Halfway up the stairs in their small, cluttered and temporary cottage, he paused slightly, actually listening to the song. It was loud and familiar, preformed by a happy, upbeat electronic Japanese band. But what made him stop was not the song; he could _hear_ the vocal artist.

"You lied to me." The neko-jin jumped around, scarf twirling, a hand over his mouth to cover the coughing.

"You're back." Rei's voice was edged with a raspiness that had almost become a characteristic trait. Almost. It was difficult to associate memories of old with the voices and looks of old, and yet… "I don't put pressure on myself, Kai, so mostly, yes, it's gone." Rei most subtly changed the subject. "I have chop-sticks." He nodded towards the plastic bag in Kai's hand eagerly, still dangling slightly from the walk.

Kai shrugged, dragging the covers and pillows down from the bed to the floor. Then he flopped down on them, leaning back on the bed. The pillow was slightly lumpy, and by the time he was comfortable, Rei held out his box in a silent offering, smiling and bringing attention to his dimples.

"I didn't know you liked squid, Kai."

The Russian frowned, looking down into the box, poking at the rather soggy food. "Me neither. I ordered chicken." Rei's hand froze, chopsticks holding a small portion of his food. Raising his hand, they both peered closer at it.

"Looks like chicken, right?"

"Maybe." What Kai had assumed to be silence, but in actuality was the long wait for the bonus track, abruptly ended with a loud, screeching crash. Rei squealed. "I knew it!" He grinned brightly, swallowing. "I love this song!"

Kai groaned.

The neko-jin narrowed his eyes, lips pursing in a subconscious response. "What's true about music is true about life: that beauty reveals everything because it expresses nothing. I love the feeling such music brings, Kai."

Smirking, Kai pressed a button of the remote he found almost slipping off the bed. "I happen to enjoy the feeling of silence." Bright eyes narrowed further, and Rei faced away from Kai, sniffing. Kai just shook his head, chuckling softly to himself.

* * *

Kai grumbled. To say he was not amused was an understatement. 

'_Charity, money to be given to children_'. '_To make the world a better place_', they said. '_People like celebrities who give something back_.'

He could've walked away. Easily. But of course, Rei just had to rest his head on his shoulder and sigh. _"I always wanted to go to school when I was younger, Kai…and things like this might make that possible, someday…"_

Kai growled, crossing his arms. He flinched when the brush touched his hair, tugging relentlessly. Another brush, smaller and softer, of a different kind was dragged over his face. Smothering his skin.

'_A historical battle_', they said. Kai snorted. '_Make it look fancy, the fans will love it_'. He could tolerate that, maybe even accept it. But the way they haughtily looked down upon his friend, as if he were worth less than the dirt under their shoes. Lips curved in obvious disdain. '_Of course, we can't let any_thing_ go…if you get my drift._'

Takao may have been the world champion, but the name Kai Hiwatari attracted far more attention, _money_, than his Japanese team-mate could ever hope to achieve. And Kai _didn't_ get his _drift_. Therefore, once they had to name their conditions, his had been Rei. There was a reason to why he ran away from home, after all. Conceited, stuck-up bastards were the same no matter where, and they wanted profit. And Kai didn't like any more than the other.

Cracking an eye open when all brushes disappeared, he had to suppress a frown. Rei was a village boy at heart; dressing up made him feel uncomfortable under any circumstances, and snickering makeup artists didn't really improve the situation, but surely…

The neko-jin tugged at his sleeves, staring at the floor by his feet, bare in traditional, wooden Japanese sandals. Kai glared at the makeup crew, who suddenly decided they were very busy and almost blocked the doorway in their hurry to get out. Kai stood up, stretching his rather stiff limbs.

"What are you?" Rei absentmindedly rubbed his exposed shoulder, voice soft, hesitant almost.

The Russian shrugged, holding his arms out to the sides, wide sleeves falling out. "Some samurai." He blinked at Rei, frown deepening.

"They wanted me to be Catwoman, but I refused." He grimaced. "So now I'm…some sort of swordfighter…" Some sort indeed. A scantly dressed swordfighter in an…interesting choice of kimono. "At least it's not tight…and I have a sword!"

"Bastards." Rei looked away.

"…it's not the end of the world…I almost expected worse…" He turned around, not wanting to look at Kai. Not wanting to see the glare he knew was there. The kimono flared out, showing more leg by the sudden spin. The Russian blinked, eyes staring unfocusedly at the sudden exposure, humming in response to Rei. Rei cocked his head to the side, slowly turning back around. "Kai?"

A raised eyebrow was the only reaction, and a low, questioning hum. "Hm…?"

Cheeks burning softly as Kai's gaze never returned to his face, he unsuccessfully tried to cover his legs. He coughed, trying to ignore the Russian's open stare, failing miserably, and lowered his gaze. His breath hitched involuntarily, eyes sparkling. A gi revealed so much more chest… "You look handsome, Kai." And what a chest it was…

The Russian frowned, snapping back to reality, looking down at himself. "It's just a lousy outfit." Using the excuse of studying the outfit to stare openly, like Kai had done only moments before, Rei sighed appreciatively, fingers itching to _touch_ and _feel_. Shaking his head as if berating his companion, he stepped closer until he could feel Kai's breath on his face.

"A real artist creates beautiful things and puts nothing of his own life into them." Rei blushed softly, brushing an imaginary speck of dust off the fancy costume, fingers dipping down to brush against pale skin. "You look lovely. Really, Kai." A faint smile reached his lips, and he took a small step back. "I promise."

Kai caught himself from pulling Rei back, but it didn't stop the camera from going off.

* * *

R&R, please. And thank you, to those who reviewed the last chapter. 

The last part should be up soon.


	3. 3

So, this is the end. Hope you'll enjoy it.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Kai! I'm so, _so_ sorry-" Kai glared. 

"Don't."

"Kai-"

"No." He licked his lips, warily taking a hold of Kai's scarf. Kai didn't spare him a glance.

"Kai…I'm sorry…I didn't know, I didn't-"

"Think. Again." He took a deep breath, gently loosening the hold Rei had of his scarf. "It's not your fault. It means nothing Rei…stupid rumours never do." Rei twined his fingers with Kai's, ignoring the warmth and not letting go. Ignoring Kai's questioning glance.

"And if it's more than a rumour?" Kai froze, barely aware of the pleading eyes directed at him or the magazine slowly falling to the ground from his suddenly numb fingers.

* * *

Flattered. He felt flattered, and warm inside. He didn't understand it, but once Rei's words were deciphered…there was no disgust, no appal. It left Kai lost. 

If he _didn't_ feel offended, and he didn't care other than the fact that was strangely pleased…then what? He was flattered that someone could feel that strongly about him, it made him feel self-conscious.

He vaguely remembered a shy smile and shadowed eyes filled with admiration, a gruff boy and hard eyes, unforgiving. He remembered the young boy who was almost beaten to death and his assaulter, proud, strong and seemingly larger than life. _He _had been appalled, his manly pride and ego had been bruised. That boy had been hospitalised for weeks.

So why didn't he feel bothered? Why this feeling of warmness and…Kai shook his head. Much like when he found out about Rei's inclinations, he was left with a small sense of confusion behaviour-wise. He could push Rei away, and hurt them both. Rei's friendship was not something he wanted to rid himself off, and he was left with a taste of disgust at the mere suggestion of hurting his friend. He liked his friend.

For now, they would remain friends. For now…

Deep down, he knew it was only a matter of time before Rei broached the subject again.

* * *

Rei swallowed, gently brushing Kai's hair. The pretence of regaining memory had long since been dropped, and now it was purely calming, enjoying, something Rei was loath to break. But it had been so long, and Kai had not once mentioned it. "Kai?" He swallowed again. "We need to talk, and-" 

"No."

"Kai-"

"No."

Rei blinked, biting his lip. No what? Talk? But they needed to. Rei desperately needed to talk, and Kai…Kai was tense, far too tense, and Rei paused in the process of opening his mouth. "Are you scared of me?"

Kai didn't answer, visibly struggling against something in his mind. "…for you, yes, but not of you, no."

"Then why-?"

"I can't."

* * *

"Where did you get that?" Rei carefully swam closer to Kai, his pale body shining in the silvery moonlight reflected from the almost black water. 

He cracked an eye open, lazily floating on the water. "Hm?" Rei gently touched Kai's side, fingers following the outline of a faded scar, a line whiter then his already pale skin. His hand was grabbed roughly, and Kai stopped floating abruptly, water splashing. They stared at each other silently, Rei curious, concerned, and Kai merely glaring. "It's nothing."

"Kai!"

Dark eyes flashed. "I misjudged a situation." He let go of Rei's hand. "And suffered the consequences." Instead of a hand, he found himself encircled by a warm, silky, slick body, floating as if an exception from gravitation. Legs wound themselves around his waist, and arms were suddenly around his neck, a moonlit face too close to his own, smiling softly. "Rei?"

"What situation?" A hand freed itself from his neck, trailing down his chest, through the water, finding hidden pieces of an old, partially forgotten puzzle.

Kai looked away. "It's nothing." He brought a hand up, pushing Rei back lightly by his chest. "It's late, we should-"

"-Be getting back, yeah, whatever." But Rei's curiosity was already awoken.

* * *

When he fell, Rei's heart stopped beating. He ran, all colour drained from his face and he couldn't breathe. 

"Kai!"

But Kai didn't move, he continued to lie motionless on the hard concrete floor. He ran, but his feet felt immobile. They always joked about his speed, so why was he so slow? He was taking too long.

"Kai…"

His voice was clogged, and he fell in a graceless stumble beside Kai. He wrapped his arms around Kai, and pushed, but Kai barely moved. His body didn't roll onto his back. So Rei rolled with him, and Kai's head lolled bonelessly to the side, eyes closed and face far, far too pale. Rei's breath hitched, and trembling fingers traced the still face, body slowly rocking.

"You didn't have to push yourself so hard…"

* * *

Everything was swirling. A jumbled mess of colours and light. So bright. It was all so bright… Eyes opening fully, and the swirl became tangible forms and objects. The green, lush grass tickled his bare feet and neck, and he frowned softly, not knowing where he was. 

Not in his room, clearly. There was no brilliant blue sky in his room, nor was there sunlight or soft grass.

"You're finally awake…" Glancing to the side, he felt an appreciative smile on his lips. His friend was always in his room though, but the beauty he acquired when surrounded by wild nature was never as profound as now. Especially when the sun shone on his face, lightening up his entire being.

"Rei…" He groaned, only now feeling his head pound in protest, and his sore, overused, limbs and muscles. Rei crouched beside him, a relieved smile on his face.

"You're okay…" He sat down, gently lifting Kai's head into his lap, tapered fingers combing through the wild hair. He laughed softly, sniffing slightly at the end. "You're really heavy, too…I only managed to drag you outside."

Kai could feel his focus waning, and his eyes fluttered close. He had never felt so relaxed in…forever. When Rei's hands softly started to massage his skull, he melted. Rei startled at Kai's breathy moan, and he smiled softly, not stopping, and softly, softly, he hummed. "_…I will mangle your mind…_"

"You already have, my Rei…" The neko-jin gasped, but Kai was already asleep, breathing even and steady, a contented and relaxed smile on his face.

* * *

"So basically, what you're trying to say is that I was dreaming?" Kai nodded, barely looking up from his crossword. "Twice! I know what I _saw _and I know what I _heard_!" 

"…escapism?" A mumble and the soft tapping of a pen, then a curse. "…a, a-b-acus…? Hm…" Some more tapping. "Rei-! What-? Stop it!" A struggled ensued, its end marked by several soft, plastic sounding clatters on the hardwood floor.

Rei glared, pushing Kai back, sitting astride his lap. "Am I dreaming now too, then?" Kai held his shirt together, not looking at Rei.

"Just get off."

"I- No, Kai. What happened?" He touched Kai's shoulder softly. "I-" He shook his head, then started to unbuckled his belt. The sharp sound of a fly being opened caused the Russian to turn his head sharply around. Rei tugged his trousers along with his underwear down, exposing his hip. "When I was a kid, I ran into broken fence." Kai glanced down, eyebrows twitching, crossing his arms. "So, unless your parents couldn't _afford_ to fix your fence…" He trailed off.

Kai glared at Rei's bellybutton. "I don't remember, alright?" He narrowed his eyes, and uncrossed his arms, poking one finger experimentally on the bulging navel. The neko-jin giggled, squirming, batting Kai's finger away.

"Don't do that…tickles, Kai! Stop it-! _Kai!_"

* * *

"Can I go…out?" A shrug. "I mean, _out_, you know? I want to-" Rei grinned weakly at Kai's penetrating stare, left eyebrow raised. "There's this new place, and it opens tonight, and I thought, you know, maybe I could go." He scratched his arm subconsciously. "And then I realised you'd probably want to know first." 

"Hn."

Rei shrugged. "Whatever. A friend of mine's picking me up later. I'll go take a shower." He gasped as Kai twisted him roughly, faster than it took for him to turn around in the first place.

"A gay bar?" Rei nodded. "What friend?" The last word as pronounced choppily.

"Just a friend. Don't worry, he's not like that. He's polite and friendly." Kai tightened his hold on Rei's arm, frowning. "It bothers you." Kai's frowned deepened.

"I don't like it." Kai swallowed. "Your friend-"

"It's the one from…when you found out." Rei smiled, small and comfortingly. "He's not going to beat me." Lowering his voice without realising it, he continued, albeit a bit more hesitantly. "He's…with someone." He made a gesture with his head, then brought a finger to his lips, hushing and winking. "We'll just take a couple of drinks and talk. I can't exactly…dance." Kai nudged his chest gently, nodding.

* * *

Rei's friend, Kai decided, was the most loud, exuberant, childish, naïve person he'd ever had the unfortunate…pleasure of meeting. _His_ friend, Kai decided, he had not seen this relaxed, content and genuinely _happy_ since the picture Mao had shown him once of a three year old Rei. 

He startled slightly as someone suddenly flung their arms around him from behind. One hand covered his eyes, and melodious giggles sounded right next to his ear. "Surprise, Kai-kun!" He seated himself in Kai's lap, giggles dying down, morphing into a smile. "The bartender's checking you out." He leaned in closer to Kai's ear, lowering his voice. "And this really persistent guy's been following me all night."

Kai blinked, looking at the young bartender, who was staring in dismay at the neko-jin in his lap. "I didn't notice." Rei swallowed his drink, putting the glass back down.

"No?" He held up the glass again. "You paid for this?"

Kai shook his head. "The bartender gave it to me." He watched as Rei drank it, biting absentmindedly on the green straw, big eyes staring at him expectantly. "You can have it." Rei grinned.

"Thanks." Another sip, and he pressed the straw to Kai's lips. Kai shook his head, blowing the straw back around. "No?" He mumbled around the straw, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Kai stared at him suspiciously. "What?"

"Nothing…just…" Rei leaned closer, tenderly brushing his thumb on Kai's cheek. "…eyelash." Kai glanced down at Rei's finger, then back up, swallowing thickly as the neko-jin suddenly seemed to be much closer.

"Rei…?" A small smile, and soft, warm hands held his face, a nose lightly touching his own. Kai opened his mouth again, only to have his breath stolen.

* * *

Kai hugged his knees closer to himself and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sounds around him. The birds and the wind rustling the trees, the children playing and the cheesy music coming from the ice-cream parlour just ahead of the next couple of trees. It didn't work. Everything just reminded him of what he was trying to escape, and he was starting to suspect that perhaps the park wasn't the best place to hide in when you wanted to run away. 

He hadn't been alone in his bed when he woke-up that morning. That alone wasn't unusual, Rei snuck in with him whenever he was cold, but this morning had been…different. Kai had woken up in his shirt from yesterday, unbuttoned but still the same one, and his underwear.

Rei had only been wearing his underwear.

He hadn't been drunk. Kai didn't like drinking, so when he drank, it was only because it tasted good. A glass of wine or a drink or some cider. Which meant that he remembered, and Rei hadn't been drunk either.

It was like everything, his inhibitions and shields had been destroyed, like that time when he pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion trying to escape, and passed out. And he _saw_ Rei. And Rei was beautiful, loving and simply wonderful.

He was probably hurt and worried by now, too. Kai hadn't even left a note. Just, run away.

Kai swallowed thickly. This morning…he remembered. He had fallen for a man once, his tutor in school. A boy several years older with a harsh, judgemental temperament. Kai had only been twelve at the time, but he wasn't the same after the hospital released him. And he destroyed something inside, making himself forget. Until now.

He could hear someone walking cautiously on the grass in front of him, hear them sitting next to him, feel a tentative hand rest on his knee. He could almost imagine the shining eyes in his mind.

"I didn't know you wore glasses, Kai."

Kai shrugged, opening his eyes. "I couldn't bother with lenses earlier."

"Oh." Rei stared in front of himself, at the cat prowling on the pathway. "Are you…alright?"

Kai closed his eyes again, breathing in the fresh air. "It's peaceful here, don't you think?"

"Kai…" The hand on his knee tightened. "I'm…sorry."

"Are you? Even though you wanted it? Me?" Rei bit his lip.

"How can you be so calm?" Kai didn't answer, silently waiting for Rei to continue. "I-…no. I don't suppose I am. But I took advantage of you. I shouldn't have, and for that I'm sorry."

"No you didn't. I did that myself…I had to know."

"Kai?" The Russian shrugged, slowly, and slightly painfully stretching out one of his legs, wincing as the muscles protested. Rei's hand slipped down on his thigh, inches away from Kai's, the other resting on his still bent knee.

"I'm an expert at lying to myself…didn't you know? I could've pushed you away at least a hundred times by now."

"Kai…" Kai leaned his head on the arm resting against his knee, opening his eyes, staring at the canopy of greens and yellow above them.

"Are you hungry?" Rei looked as if he was going to protest. "I won't believe you if you say no. I know you." The neko-jin bit his lip, resigned.

"I am." Kai stared at Rei's shoulder, not saying anything. Then he shook his head, smiling gently. Taking Rei's hand in his own, he slowly stood up, his knees protesting.

"Come on." Rei stood up as well, very much aware of the ever so slightly shaking hand in his own.

"Where-?"

"Home. My parents wanted to see me before we go to Berlin."

* * *

Rei laughed softly, leaning his head on Yuriy's shoulder. "Seriously?" 

"Mm." The Russian laughed in spite of himself. "Knee socks, blouse, a plaited skirt… it was freaky!"

"So, did he wear it?"

"Hn. No, I think he burned it. It wounded his manly ego."

"Poor Boris…his fans are so crazy." The neko-jin giggled, scooting up closer to his friend. "Maybe they wanted you to wear them for him…"

"Rei!" The redhead look scandalised, but Rei just continued to laugh.

"Sorry…I'm just really tired. What's taking him so long anyway?" He yawned. "I want a bed…"

"Not Kai?"

Rei smirked, fang poking out. "Well, him too." He winked. "But he comes with the bed."

"You mean-?"

"What? No, he's…thinking, I believe he said." Yuriy raised an eyebrow, frowning.

"And?"

Rei sighed, closing his eyes, head resting against the much taller teen's shoulder. "…I don't know…"

* * *

Kai sighed, staring with a sour expression at the ceiling. Last time all the teams met up together, the Bai Fu Zu didn't want _anything_ to do with their former friend and team-mate. This time, they were swarming him like bees attracted to honey. 

"Kai!"

"Hm…?" He turned lazily, staring almost bored at the hissing neko-jin attached to his arm.

"Get me out of here." A shaking finger was directed at the Chinese team. "They think they can _cure_ my supposed illness by marrying me off to some woman!" Kai coughed, eyes widening, his stomach churning with an emotion he didn't recognise. He gently pried the hand gripping his arm off, absentmindedly interlacing the neko-jin's fingers with his own.

"You don't-"

"No! Of course not! How could that possibly _work_!" Rei shook his head, cheeks slightly flushed. And then he noticed the strong grip on his hand, the strange look in Kai's eyes. "…Kai?" The Russian smirked gently, then nodded towards the tables in the far end of the room.

"I'm thirsty, come on." He tugged on Rei's hand, but the neko-jin remained stationary. "Rei?"

"Kiss me." Kai's eyes widened significantly, but, Rei decided, not in contempt or fear. Not that Kai would admit to being afraid. "Your hand isn't shaking, and you're looking into my eyes." He softly repeated his request. "Kiss me." Kai's eyes flashed with something too fast for Rei to notice, and before he had the chance to react, soft lips crashed down onto his own.

Rei gasped softly for breath when they pulled apart, licking his slightly swollen lips. Arms resting around the Russian's neck, he giggled in spite of himself, and he rested his forehead against Kai's. "Baka. I didn't mean here and now." Dazed eyes seemed to sharpen instantly, and he hastily let go, abruptly stepping away from Rei.

A gentle hand landed on his shoulder, and Kai turned to see one of his fellow Russian's staring down at him. A key was pressed into his hand, and blue eyes twinkled. "My room is considerably closer." He stared over Kai's shoulder. "Chances are you'll reach it before they snap out of their stupor."

* * *

"Kai…" Rei gasped quietly, fumbling for the knob behind him, and turning it, locking the door. He grasped Kai's hands, holding them in his own, and tilted his head back. Kai growled, moving after the tempting, soft lips. "Wait. Stop, please." Kai growled again, but took a step backwards. 

"Kai-"

"Rei-"

The neko-jin grinned, nodding at Kai to continue. "You said I could kiss you." Kai smirked, about to do so again, when Rei, yet again, much to Kai's frustration, spoke up.

"Why? If it's because I'm available, you know where the door is."

"I-…it's not." Kai gently stroked Rei's cheek, planting a soft, formal kiss on his lips. "You're beautiful." Rei smiled brightly.

"You think?" Kai smiled, nodding. "Do you love me?" The Russian took a surprised step backwards, hastily letting go of Rei. Rei's face fell, and he sighed. "I shouldn't have-"

"Rei…?" The neko-jin shook his head, walking over to sit on the bed, and Kai fell quiet. He never thought about that. He never considered it, but… Slowly moving over, he sat next to the neko-jin, kissing a cheek that didn't want to acknowledge him. "I like you." Rei smiled, glancing at Kai from the corner of his eye.

"I know. Me too." He licked his lips. "I didn't mean to say that." Turning around to face Kai, his smile widened. "I know you always mean what you do."

"I know." Kai smiled slightly, eyes sparkling. "And I know you don't always think." Rei gasped loudly, pretending to be offended.

"How can you say that!" Kai grinned, teeth flashing, raising an eyebrow. Reaching out, he poked Rei's sides, making his beautiful friend's face scrunch up in laughter, the melodious, rich sound vibrating off the walls.

Hands reaching out in protest, bodies wrestling, shirts coming loose and unbuttoned, until… Rei blinked, staring down at Kai, his laughter dying.

Kai smiled gently, reaching up to tuck Rei's hair behind his ear, hand trailing down his neck, softly stroking the revealed chest, coming to a stop on a perfect hip.

"Because I know you…" Rei smiled, almost shyly, before leaning down and kissing the Russian he'd wanted for so long. Pulling back slightly, he whispered:

"I'm glad…"

* * *

Ignoring the glares aimed at his back, the Russian made his way inside, wordlessly closing the door behind him. He knew, that perhaps by locking everyone out, he would only worsen the situation for the ones still in the ignorant bliss of sleep. 

The redhead sighed. Maybe it had been a lack of his judgement to give his bedroom away for the night. Perhaps it would have been wiser to act his merciless, cold bastard play out.

Shaking his head, he allowed a soft smile to play on his lips, causing Boris to raise an eyebrow in silent questioning. No, he thought, silently agreeing with his inner self. He had done the right thing. Rei knew him far too well anyway.

Pausing, he hesitantly unlocked his door, peeking inside. He grinned at the sight. Gently closing the door, protecting their happiness, he turned around. He took a surprised step back when he came face to face with a Russian far closer than he expected.

"Two naked people in bed together doesn't necessarily mean sex's involved, Yuriy." Boris smirked, obviously amused, moving away from Yuriy and sitting back down on the couch across the room. "Makes for a pretty strong case though." The redhead laughed, shaking his head.

"That it does…that it does." Walking after him, he smirked, seating himself astride Boris' lap. Leaning forwards to whisper in his ear, he softly bit down on the lobe, causing the paler Russian to breathe in sharply. "Did you really burn it?"

* * *

He wondered how it felt, what Rei had done to him had been…pleasure out of this world. But, Rei, had he felt so special and _warm_ and… He squirmed, uncomfortable and unaccustomed to the heat rising in his face. Rei had…seemed to like it. Kai coughed, ears turning red. A bit more than that, actually. The neko-jin had sharp…claws. 

Then he sighed, looking down at the slumbering being resting gently beside him. Head resting so close to his own, sharing the same pillow. Kai smiled, a small, soft movement of his lips. Shared pillow. Somehow, after everything, a shared pillow was so much more…meaningful. It wasn't just a bed or covers. It was a pillow. Soft and warm, comfortable. Inviting and- Kai licked his suddenly dry lips, gently tracing the outline of Rei's bare side revealed from the protectiveness of the cover until only moments ago. Such divine beauty…

"It's only now, looking back, I see how you patched through my walls and entered my life…in waves…" Rei stirred slightly, eyelids fluttering at Kai's quiet murmur. He sighed, allowing his hand to rest on Rei's slim hip, and he closed his eyes.

How he could've been so blind… Rei had probably known all along, and-

"Kai, please stop moving…" He blinked his eyes open, glancing at Rei before turning around, presenting the neko-jin with his back. "Kai?"

"Hn." Rei _had_ probably known, he was intuitive like that, and- The Russian found himself lying on his back, a frustrated neko-jin hovering above him, confusion standing out amongst the myriad of emotions swirling in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Kai turned his head away, eyes closing, not saying anything. He heard Rei growl. Then bit back a curse as he was punched hard on his chest. "Damnit Kai! I don't _care_, I'll kill you if you _dare _turn back now! You _bloody_ coward!"

"I'm not a coward Rei."

"Then _what_ is it?" Kai turned around again.

"How long did you know about me and didn't say anything?"

Rei hissed, turning around himself, lying back to back with Kai. "I didn't bloody know! I had suspicions; you never pushed me away! You could've just as easily been straight and had an overly touching and brotherly affection towards me."

"What makes you think that's not what I feel? Maybe-"

"Because you just gave me a bloody blow-job, Kai!"

Kai shifted, holding back a smile. "You swear an awful lot when you're frustrated, my Rei." He traced Rei's spinal cord, gently dragging his fingers up and down. "To be honest, I don't know how I feel…it's just…to right to be wrong." His hands stilled as Rei turned around, taking hold of his hands with his own and holding them tightly. "Will you be _terribly_ _annoyed_ with me for being human?"

* * *

And that's that. 

R&R, please. And thank you to those that already reviewed to my last chapters.


End file.
